Surely no
artist held a candle to the wonderful weird wild Wacko Jacko.
I dare Marilyn Manson or GWAR or Karen Finley
or Mariah Carey to try to top this wonderful conceptual art
guru who has emerged from the depths of a bathtub filled with naked
14-year old television boystars to become the Performance Artist
of the Century!
Imagine!
Producing an album that didn’t sell even though it had a
$30million publicity budget! And then to accuse Tommy Mottola
of being a bad boy and denying black artists the royalties and
respect due them. And then people like Russell Simmons
remarked that he could probably make 30 hit albums for that kind of
money, and where was the Jackson family when the R&B
Foundation was trying to get older blues and R&B stars some
money to pay for their healthcare costs, and why did the Jacksons
systematically exclude black promoters from their tours? (Come to
think of it, Jacko did succeed in getting Mottola
fired)
(And too bad
Sharpton hadda get involved with another person whose
accusations fell apart in the end
But that all
paled compared to Jacko’s “Hey honey, I threw the
kids from the balcony” tour! And those of us in the know
figured that his ploy of dressing his kids in burkas for their
visits to the zoo was probably an attempt to sell some records in
Afghanistan – well, he’s got try to be no. 1 somewhere!
And finally
there was the piece de resistance, or should I say, the Sir
Nose D’Voidoffunk! A nose with 3 holes! Noses popping
off in first class! And noses peeling and falling off in court!
And is that some kind of airfoil on his hose in the photo that
accompanies this PoOp scoop?
Now, there are
some who claim that Jacko is trying to become Diana Ross
or Brooke Shields, but one look at this photo and you can see
that he’s trying to become the Scarecrow from The
Wiz! The Wiz was his only Hollywood leading role, and
he’s dying to be in a remake! Look! He’s perfect for
the part!
And, hey, there
was one decent cut on the album – the cut that sampled the
guitar from Sly Stone’s Thankyou Fallettinmebemyself
hit. When I first heard the cut on the radio, I thought it was a
lady vocalist, but the DJ announced that it was by Jacko.
And who could more truthfully say Thankyou Fallettinmebemyself
again!
SERIOUS
PROPS
to Mick Jagger, for teaching us “How to Be
Mick Jagger” – alright kiddies – Strut Strut Turn
Strut Rooster Rooster Turn Rooster Strut Strut Turn Mince Mince Turn
Strut Strut Schoolmarm Schoolmarm Turn Schoolmarm Strut Extra wag of
finger Strut and Freeze! Ol’ Mick probably realizes that
there’s a lot of moola to be made with exercise videos for the
rapidly aging baby boomers!
And to Brian Eno for coming out as an anti-war activist this year.
FAVORITE GIGS OF 2002
Top gig was U.Roy with the Downbeat Sound System and DJ Kool
Herc at the East River this summer! At one point U.Roy,
Coxone Dodd and Kool Herc were on stage at once –
essentially the men who invented the music of the last 10 years.
IABAS are still kicking booty, whether at the Mid Hudson
Children’s Museum or at Rosendale Café. Percussion
sounds from another hemisphere were the wonderful Gamelan Surya
Kanchana at the Holy Cross Church in Kingston. Ari Up,
Peter Stampfel and an amazing acoustic set from Baaba Maal
at a Village Voice benefit for their 911 benefit album. How about
that Ari Up & Nina Hagen gig this summer! Don’t we
know a lot of people! Peter Stampfel, not well known as a
protest singer, came up with “President Bush / Can kiss
my Tush / Deep in the Heart of Texas” at a CBGB’s gig
this summer. And props to Angel Dean & Sue Gardner who
brought back fond memories of Shackwacky at the same gig.
(Yo! to Yo La Tengo!) The Raymond Scott Orchestrette
are a real gas – I caught them at the Colaburgh Lodge in
Croton this spring. Other props to Calvin Johnson, Joshua Rifkin,
the Battlefield Band, Lindisfarne, Gary Lucas, Michael Hurley and
Little Annie for wonderful evenings! And let me not forget
Vivian Goldman’s great lecture on the history and
mystery of reggae. (She was dancing at the U.Roy gig too) Not
forgetting John Cale’s set at the Harvestworks benefit
/ tribute to Robert Moog, with Judy Nylon as MC!
RADIO ACTIVITY:
As usual, Vassar’s WVKR, 91.3, is still the best in the
valley, and shout-outs must go to Geet Mala with Padma,
to the Polka shows with Mike and Terry and with John
Sagan, and to my favorite, reggaespectrum.com
with Dexy B and Supa T for the best in reggae and
rocksteady! Other props to the Fancy Broccoli show and
Diggin’ in the Crates – where Funk liveth
itinually.
KEWEL FLIX:
ATANARJURAT (Fast Runner) - a unique film – and perfect timing, right in the middle of the summer heatwave
24-HOUR PARTY PEOPLE: A hoot! Martin Zero – Too Big for Death!
Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN
THE BANGER SISTERS: - the story of The Plaster Casters (cleaned up)
SCRATCH: THE MOVIE: - a good history of Hip-Hop (also check out Charlie Ahearn’s book Yes Yes Y’All)
UNDERCOVER BROTHER: - (this year’s Pootie Tang, with a bigger budget)
THE COCKETTES: - all of the above, plus Divine, Sylvester, and Hibiscus
THE PRESIDENT MASH UP THE RESIDENTS: (Musts to Avoids):
Ginger Geezer – the Life of Vivian Stanshall by Lucian Randall &
Chris Welch – funny enough at the start, but as Stanshall
descends into sunken boats & sunken ambitions, it gets really
depressing.
Harry Smith’s Mahogonny – 3 hours of artistically framed
film of mid-60’s Manhattan traffic is not art, it’s
boredom.
REGIME CHANGE BEGINS AT HOME
DISAPPOINTING:
Sinead O’Connor – Sean-Nos Nua
(Sorry, Sinead, Irish music is not supposed to be this slow)
[A Techno cartoon from the Punch strip It's Grim Up North London is included on paper copies of this list]